Awakening
by xSonya
Summary: Day by day, I find out a little more about myself and the past that I've forgotten, be it small or big. My new psychiatrist Kaname Kuran radiates an aura of mystery and it's unnerving that he knows more about myself than I do. It's all like a horrible dream... but I just wish to remember the cause for these horrible nightmares. The only thing I seem to remember is the pain.


**A/N****: Hello! I have no idea how things function in an asylum, I'm basing this on things I've already read and stuff so excuse me if it's not accurate. I didn't think the summary went down to well so i'll probably end up changing it when I post more up, i'm bad at summarising :(**

**This is a KanaxZero story, with perhaps some IchijouxZero and ichijouxKana parts... I haven't decided yet D: If you're not too keen on any of those pairings I wouldn't suggest reading ^^**

**Warnings****: All the usual Yaoi stuff (For future reference), and for once I've decided to input some swearing.**

**Enjoy.  
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**Awakening  
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**Chapter 1: Painful seduction**

_It was a frighteningly cold night, and it wasn't just the harsh wind blowing outside that made the atmosphere terribly tense. Something weighed heavy in the air; something he couldn't quite place his finger on. He looked to the small warmth embraced in his arms, and another smile was drawn from his lips. It was his mirror image, his dear Ichiru._

_He cradled the back of the small head in his arms, while the other hand was secured around his waist, holding him close. His grip tightened as a sudden possessiveness swept over him. The dazed form nuzzled further into his chest, curling into him in a foetal position, as he groaned lightly in contentment._

_He knew of his brother's weakness; his frail, sickly body. He frowned slightly. It saddened him greatly sometimes; the way Ichiru would watch from the sidelines, as Toga Yagari, their trainer, taught him._

_"I'll just watch Zero, I'll only slow you down" He loathed to hear those words. He loathed hearing them so much. Ichiru would never slow him down, and even if he was slightly stronger; he didn't care. He would protect Ichiru, and he would fight beside him, he would make sure of that._

_It wasn't particularly late, but it was way past the twin's bedtime, that was for sure. He stroked and pet the silver hair between his fingers, soothing the shuddering form next to him._

_He had almost given in to the warmth radiating beside him, and succumbed to a light slumber himself before he heard the soft uttering of voices filter through the door. It was mother and father. He strained to hear through the howling of the wind, surprisingly loud although the window was closed tight shut._

_"He can't! We've already spoken about this!" He heard his father's slightly raised voice. There was a short silence. "But-" She was cut off by an abrupt 'Shh' the silence that followed after was slightly longer. Zero wasn't sure what it was, this feeling, but it wasn't a good one, settling right at the pit of his stomach._

It seemed like only yesterday.

_He heard a cautious patter of footsteps, then the opening of a door. There was silence again, a deathly silence, one that seemed to last for a life time, but that was broken with a shrill cry of pain. It had sounded absolutely terrified; he'd almost not recognised it as his mothers. He hardly realised he was whole body was quaking with a sudden terror._

_"I-Ichiru" He nudged the body next to him, his face horror stricken. "Ichiru" He whined out slightly louder._

_"Mmm?" Ichiru groaned out sleepily, holding himself up to look up at those features drawn with worry and fear. "What's wrong Zero?" He rubbed an eye with the back of his hand. Zero could sense an unfamiliar presence, but that wasn't his only concern, they could smell burning. They looked at each other without a word._

_'What do we do?' He heard the voice in his head. They spoke like this sometimes, it was weird, and they weren't so used to it, but sometimes it was just easier. Zero gave a look that blatantly said 'I haven't got a clue' He looked to their closed door and back at Ichiru._

_"Please..." He almost begged, knowing his twin wasn't even going to consider the idea. "Stay here and hide." His eyes_ _pleaded._

_"No Zero" His eyes were wide. "Don't leave me" His voice was a whisper._

_"I'll be back..." Before those large eyes could convince him out of, he went to see what the source of the smoke was that seeped through under the space of the bottom of their bedroom door. He pulled himself away from the warm comfort of his brother and bed, and opened the door, making sure to close it behind him. If he had a key, he would've locked it._

_He couldn't see any fire, but the smoke was visibly coming from down the stairs. He strained his small body around to see through the gaps in the banister, but to no avail, he descended down the steps one by one. That growing fear in the pit of his stomach only intensified as he reached the bottom._

_"F-Father?" He coughed into the arm shielding his face. The smoke was thick and heavy, but he was sure he could see a form sprawled out on the floor. He approached it slowly, cautiously. He paid no attention what so ever of the fire that surround him in almost like a circle; a ring of fire. He leant over the body shaking the lifeless form. A silent tear ran down his cheek._

_He jumped when a light feminine silky smooth laugh sounded above the crackle of the flames. He was sure he'd heard that same ring before. He looked up to try and find the source to the noise, but he could see nothing through the grey clouds._

_"Who's there?!" He rasped out. His throat was as dry as sandpaper. All his sorrow had turned into anger. Was that meant to sound like a threat? He mentally laughed. He thought that sounded like a pathetic weak whimper._

_"Come to me my dear" He could barely make out a small figure on the other side of the flames that surround him._

_"Ichiru? Is that you?" The smoke cleared ever so slightly, and he could see the taller slender frame, settle beside who he was sure he now recognised as his twin. An arm came out, curling itself around the waist, pulling it around Ichiru, pulling him in possessively._

_He growled. "Ichiru! Get out of here... Get away from... Her." His eyes were ablaze, like the very flames themselves. He was sure they'd both seen this female that now stood here before. He was sure he'd heard that same carefree voice, yet laced with almost a distinct, yet hidden sorrow. He couldn't forget that silky long white hair and that piercing colourless gaze. It was enough to make anyone run for miles, but he stood his ground._

_In the space of a millisecond, that pale face was in front of his, and in the blink of an eye, his head was smashed harshly against the wooden floor. He was unable to process a single thing, only the pain, as he groaned out loudly. Although his vision was hazy, he could see that malicious smile planted on her face._

_If he thought a simple crack to the head was pain, he sure was wrong. What followed could simply not be described in words. That single agonizing moment was the last thing he remembered; the only thing he could remember. The two massive needles that had been embedded in his neck had to have been the most excruciating and intense thing he knew he would ever have the misfortune to feel in all his life. He was never the same; he was aware of that much._

_He was consumed in utter darkness._

* * *

When he opened his eyes, he wasn't alone, but the blackness of the room hit him like an assault.

"Hold him down!" A deep male voice spoke aggressively, as he tried to handle Zero's legs. He hadn't realised he was screaming, and he hadn't realised he was being held down by at least about four people. He tried to stop the thrashing about of his limbs, but he couldn't stop the flailing of them, struggling uselessly against the iron grip they had on him. He could feel it all over again; that pain, for just a second, it had consumed him once more. Was he dreaming? He must've been dreaming. It had been so surreal, so unrealistic, he questioned if it had actually happened.

He was so scared. His breathing was laboured and he attempted to relax, but his entire body was shivering, yet sweating, although he was chilled to the very bone. He felt like he could go insane, but then, that was why he was here wasn't it? They all thought he was insane. In that particular moment in time, he couldn't argue either. He felt like a raging lunatic.

"It's okay" Another female voice attempted to sooth him. He couldn't see faces. It was all a blur, all hazy. He cried.

After a couple of long minutes, he had finally gotten his body to still in the arms of all that still restrained him. He was still breathing heavily. "What happened?" He asked in alarm, feeling a sudden weakness in each and every one of his muscles.

He had fallen asleep; that was what happened.

"I told you not to let me fall asleep!" He barked angrily. He didn't even know what time it was, what day it was. Hell, he didn't even know what year it was. It wasn't something he particularly cared about anymore.

It was reasons like these that he was glad he didn't share a room with anyone, not at the moment anyway...

"Take this it will make you feel better" There was a hand held out in front of him with a single plain white pill sitting in the centre. Did they think he was stupid? The pill would most probably knock him out and to be honest, that was the last thing he wanted right now.

"I'm fine" His lips were pressed in a straight line, his jaw tightening slightly. His vision was slowly clearing, and he could just about make out silky blonde locks of hair and a very long white lab coat. Then he remembered fully where he was. He couldn't help the groan that escaped his lips. He pulled for his arms still realising he was firmly held to the bed.

He could barely make out the name tag that was pinned to the front of his coat. _Takuma Ichijou_? His eyes moved back up to his face. He was shocked to find somewhat of a genuine concern etched into those features.

"I'm sorry for causing trouble at such a late hour..." He murmured almost emotionlessly, trying to mask the sudden feeling of guilt he felt under that emerald gaze in which he was fixed. He was sure it was late, what else would explain the lights being off?

"You shouldn't be sorry" The males voice softened. "It's not your fault." The blonde let the corner of his lips pull up into a light-hearted smile as he let go of one of his limbs. With some hesitation, the rest of them followed his actions.

'_It's not your fault'_ Yeah they really did think he was insane. His eyebrows knitted together in frustration. He had told them he wasn't insane... Countless times, but they were adamant in assuming something was wrong with him and continued to give him medicine he wasn't even sure did for him. Yet, after such an episode, he could barely convince himself anymore.

He took his limbs back gladly, feeling at his wrist, massaging and easing the tensed muscles there. He was sore and he was sure his skin would be bruised in the morning. He winced slightly. He bruised way too easily.

Then he noticed everyone was watching him. He shuffled uncomfortably under their scrutiny, blushing ever so slightly. Blushing was something he hardly ever did. The one he made out as Takuma whispered something he couldn't hear to the others and they soon left the room without so much as a word. In comparison to Takuma, they looked slightly pissed off. He didn't blame them. He knew he'd behave the same if he was woken up during the middle of the night.

He sat up and back against the pillow, feeling a little more awkward at the fact that Takuma took a seat on the edge of his bed, and shuffled closer to his side. "Are you sure you're alright?" He paused, holding a hand up at his forehead. He back away from the touch slightly, cowering away from the physical contact. When Takuma took his hand back, he almost sighed with relief. He didn't like being touched.

"You've been taking your medicine, right?" He looked somewhat in doubt as he side glanced at Zero. On more than a few occasions he had refused to take the multitude of pills they forced at him. Let's just say that if they were to do a sudden room inspection he'd be fucked. He'd lost track of how many pills he'd stuck under his mattress, and managed to shove in his pockets when they weren't looking. He hadn't yet found a chance to dispose of them, but he would have to find that chance, and as soon as possible.

"Yes" He lied. And there it was again, that concern as he looked him up and down.

"You talk in your sleep" Takuma simply stated. Zero looked back with an expression that somewhat resembled horror. He would hardly call it sleep; it was more like a state of mind he'd renamed in the name of torture.

"Who's Ichiru?" He asked in sheer curiosity.

"That's none of your business" He snapped back, red in the face. He didn't look the blonde in the eye. His heart ached at the very sound of the name. Who was he, his therapist now? He already had a therapist, albeit a very shitty one, that did he mention he didn't particularly like very much?

"Isn't it?" He replied, finding amusement in the way his 'patient' reacted to the simple question. That must've been it, one of the sources of where Zero's problem started. _This one's a tough nut to crack. _He thought, thoughtfully. Takuma would have to look at his files and find out more. He knew very little about this one, he didn't generally cause trouble; in comparison to the other inmates, but his interest suddenly became very peaked, as he gazed at the slide-show of emotions ever flickering on this one's face.

He received a stern, but blunt "No" Before he was satisfied, and head for the door. "Try to sleep again" He paused, opening the door. Turning once more; he said "and try to have sweet dreams" He smiled sweetly and shut the door in his wake.

Zero huffed in a sudden frustration as he pulled the blanket over his head. He closed his eyes, for a long while he lay like that; sitting there thinking about nothing other than that isolating darkness, both behind his eyelids, and surrounding his entire body. He was masked in nothing but blankness.

A sharp jolt of pain soon changed all that, as his eyes shot open in alarm. The pain was gone, and he was wide awake. He didn't dare let his eyes fall shut for the rest of that night, and he knew he would resist the tempting down fall of heavy lids for a few nights to come. _  
_  
Little did he know he was now constantly being watched; a little more close and personal than before...

* * *

"Kanameeee" Ichijou Takuma, leading psychiatrist whined at the brunette sitting at his hand-crafted mahogany desk. He was practically hanging off his the back of his neck, trying to steal the focus of his pen to paper away. "Pleeeease" The noise continued, with the brush of a hand ghosting lightly down his arm.

"Ichijou, I'm a very busy man" He said distractedly, his voice that usual silky texture. He was filling out documents or something with a swift hand; that's all he ever seemed to do now days.

"Come onnnn" A persistent one he was. Ichijou let his hand fall from his neck to caress his chest flirtatiously. "For me?" He put on his best puppy dog look knowing the man would be smitten in his hands.

Kaname sighed in defeat. "Fine" It came out a little irritated. "What do you want me to do?" He asked, laying his pen on the desk, and tilted his head slightly to look up at him.

"There are a lot of things I'd like you to do..." His murmured as he went to nip at his ear, voice low and laced with seduction. The hand at his chest fell a little lower.

"Takuma" He groaned a stern warning. The brunette wasn't in the mood, and he couldn't let himself get any more distracted than he was; as easy as it could be. It appears that Ichijou had caught him right in the midst of a bad mood.

Ichijou stood up straight, resuming the role of his profession, as Kaname turned in his chair to give the male his full attention.

"I have a certain patient you might be interested in... Zero Kiryu. He'd been admitted to the asylum four months ago, and can't seem to properly remember anything that occurred before that. The current psychologist seeing him hasn't been able to find out anything. A patient like him fits in with your field, so I thought—"

"You thought what?" He asked, propping his head up on one of his hands, gazing up into his smooth emerald eyes. Ichijou knew how busy he was, so he had to sound a little annoyed.

"You're perfect for the job... You're the best there is" He murmured, that note of seduction edging its way back in ever so slightly, as he dropped that business like tone. Kaname grunted, unable to stop that smirk playing on his lips at the compliment.

"And you owe me" The blonde murmured lightly,  
a slightly pink hue adorning his cheeks. That smirk only widened.

"Fine" He said, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he turned back to his work. Ichijou smiled in accomplishment as he turned to leave. He murmured a 'thank you' before he shut the door in his wake.

Kaname sighed. He eagerly awaited to see this new file. This so called 'patient' better be worth his time.

**Bit of a random title name xD but hopefully it made sense... the pain on Zero's part and the seduction on Kaname's part ^^ ****Been wanting to write an Asylum based fic for about a thousand years; quite literally and I'm finally posting it. Hope it's at least good and you like it. Let me know what you think! :)**

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